Long Dark Teatime

As with most blogs in the world this one was started out of a break-up. Poorly maintained and hardly noticed as my creativity and twisted view of art and reality has been channeled into its more successful and better looking younger sibling the Rorschach Blog. Well that part of me that has been emotionally scarred and scared for so long has finally found a reason to re-emerge into the light. You see I am in love again.

For those of you who have been down this path with me before over the course of 20 years of dating and disappointment it seems we have taken this trip together many times. I fall in love she goes crazy in one form or another, or for that matter I panic and ruin it some how, or we both agree that it would be better for both of us not to be together. I would feel bad about this but I know from experience that most of you have done the same thing and for better or worse some of you are still riding that roller coaster.

Here is the thing. I have met someone and she is wonderful. Smart, driven and beautiful, she makes me feel like I can do anything. She is as affectionate as me, she has a sense of humor and above all she is a big geek in the best sense of that word.

When I am with her I don't feel awkward or ugly or needy. I feel as though I can take on the world on my terms and together we will defeat every ogre, giant and long legged beasty that can be shoved in our path. I look into her eyes and I see the man I have always dreamed of being and realize I kind of am him already.

When it works it doesn't feel like work they say. And since I met her I have not so much as sweated, except in a good way.

It has only been a short time and the rose colored sun googles may in fact still be squarely in place and I know there will be challanges, there always are, but for right now, I am happy.

Jillian is my girlfriend.